"Onanist Judge" May Grab Gavel Again

If you're a judge who enjoys masturbating in open court, you might want to think about moving to liberal France, where such activities won't necessarily get you kicked off the bench.

Unlike Donald Thompson, the American judge facing up to 30 years in prison for "punishing" himself under his robes, Philippe Zamour, a French judge also caught in delicto flagrante, not only was judged "not responsible" for his actions, which are not disputed, but in theory could soon preside again in a French court.

A magistrate at the correctional court of Angoulême, Zamour was caught masturbating in full session in October 2003 and was suspended from duties at that time. Last week he went before a disciplinary hearing by a unique council overseeing the French judiciary known as the Conseil supérieur de la magistrature to determine if any sanctions would be imposed on him and to decide if he would be able to retain his position.

The charge of "sexual exhibition" against him had been dismissed in fact last January, when he was diagnosed as suffering from "schizophrenic dysthymic psychosis," a finding that absolved him from any criminal responsibility for his actions and thus prevented any disciplinary sanctions from being imposed by the council.

Since regional medical authorities had determined that Zamour, who in the meantime has been seen "shopping in his robes or imitating [the French Elvis] Johnny Hallyday," is able to work again on a part-time basis, the prospect of defendants going up before the "onanist judge," as he is known, may force the hand of French officials.

One report quotes a source as saying that the Ministry of Justice will probably refuse to nominate him for another jurisdiction while keeping him on the official payroll, effectively remunerating him to stay at home where he can hold court all by himself.